Thursday, August 26, 2004

The REAL Mr Pumpy!

OK, folks! I don't normally go on the attack on the web. Why? 'Cos you can't see your opponent, and what you can't see, you can't hit over the head with a cricket bat.

But honest Master Phil Davis from Ireland - see email below- has just contacted me with another sad tale of the FAKE Mr Pumpy (Let's just call him Mr Pretender!), some turkey, maybe English - wouldn't you know! - who masquerades as the REAL Mr Pumpy.

And I don't want to have to get into calling Mr Pumpy, The Real Mr Pumpy, like the Real IRA, or some other such tom-foolery.

So, to be clear: Mr Pumpy, the real and original one, never posts, never writes.

Only Mr Felix (me) blogs and writes, and I sign as Mr Felix.

I'm Mr Pumpy's Boswell (sp?), the great man's biographer. So every post you read signed Mr Pumpy is a sham, and deserves to be trashed, or flamed, or run over by a bus full of backpackers.

From honest Master Phil.
He writes:
Hi Felix,I saw your comment on the fake pumpy's out inforumland... here is one that I thought had secondthoughts... but nope, his conscience is hurting oversomething else!
Your pal,
Phil Davis

OK, so Mr Pretender is feeling guilty or something about a new bike he has just bought - Christ, get a life! - and wouldn't you know, Mr Pumpy has just bought a new bike! Next thing you know, Mr Pretender will be staying at the Last Home Guest House in Phnom Penh, and heading out to Vietnam next week.

Well, as I explained to honest Master Phil, you can get someone wacked in Cambodia for under 100 dollars, and there's a lot of lonely stretches between Phnom Penh and Saigon.

OK, that will do. Enough.

I'm going out for an iced coffee, and I won't be paying with a crisp new 100 dollar bill. Coffee is only 40 cents anyway, and I might need the 100 dollar bill for something else.

Mr Felix (for Mr Pumpy)
Phnom Penh, Thursday 24th August

No comments: